SO I WAKE UP early on this first morning of daylight savings time and decide to get out on my bike. After all, I have only 8 weeks until the MS150 and I need to train. This is the first time I've ridden over on the bayou near my house, and I am ready for the adventure. I head out, I get on the trail, and I find myself facing a detour due to Houston's never-ending construction. So I decide to go across a bridge instead of turning back. I do have the attitude, rather like a cowboy, that I'd rather not dismount from my ride - big mistake! The bridge is a metal grate, and I got my tire stuck in the groove, and you guessed it - I fell off! This is a picture of the beautiful bruise on my left hand. It's matched by a smaller one on my right hand, right hip, and right shin. I still can't figure out how I fell on my right side, but the biggest bruise is on my left hand! Luckily it's not the one people shake - I had a prospect with a ridiculously strong grip nearly bring me to tears today! I'm just glad it happened this weekend, because I went to the rodeo twice this week and watched the Horns beat Oklahoma State yesterday - lots of clapping involved! And I found out the hard way today that clapping hurts! Alas, just a small price to pay for such an otherwise pleasurable morning.

Wow, long time no write. But I'm enjoying the recently-released Saint Arnold's Winter Stout, so I'm in the mood to opine and pontificate. Life has been busy lately. I'm helping out a sister property, which means I'm commuting. Amazing that a 20 minute drive can affect your whole life so much. I have to get up earlier, I get home later, and I'm more tired because I'm not as busy. Does that make any sense? And in the interim I think I'm falling for a man who may or may not feel the same way and the mixed signals are exhausting as well. On the other hand, the holidays are upon us. Oh, wait, that makes me exhausted too! Nonetheless, I have started thinking about New Year's resolutions. None of this dieting, exercising, quitting smoking and getting healthy bs for me, though. No, I resolve to: 1) Learn to play the violin; 2) Read books about economics and public policy, just in case; 3) Brush up on my Italian; 4) Fully commit to my job or get a new one; 5) Cook - something I enjoy, but never seem to want to do because it means I have to plan, buy groceries, and do dishes; 6) Purge my apartment of sentimental crap!; and 7) Stop waiting for friends to decide they want to do things. I've spent a lot of time lately trying to decide if I'm really a happy person who has been miserable for stupid reasons for a long time, or if I always have and always will be a cynical old codger, who has just learned to fake it really well. I can't decide. It's almost an is-the-glass-half-full question, in more ways than one, because ultimately it doesn't matter. Either I have half a beer left, or I need more beer, right? Anyway, most of my friends are married with children, always complaining about not having time to do things, and my philosophy is, you MAKE time for what is important, and if you don't have the time, it's not that important. So I have plenty of time to read, play around on the computer, and watch tv, but not enough time to bike or take classes or clean my apartment. So as a test for my newfound "chipper" personality, I'm challenging myself to better prioritize my life. We'll just have to see how it goes!

Do you ever have days where you feel like you're dead or invisible? I keep running that song "Mr. Cellophane" from Chicago through my head. I can't find my mom, my best friend, or a few other people I expected to hear from this evening. For instance, I got this email from my "best" friend today at work, saying she would call me this evening with some interesting news, but she didn't call or respond to text or voice messages. What was she going to tell me? And where the hell is my mother? And why haven't my other friends called to confirm plans we made weeks ago? Oh wait - is my cell phone even working? Oh, it is. It's funny because I usually describe my perfect day as one when I don't have to talk to anyone, but today I need to connect! Maybe it's just because I was really tired and pissed off and needed to vent. So thank you for reading my rant.

Do you ever have truly disturbing thoughts about people who are supposed to be your closest friends? Like, "Why are we friends?", or "Why am I the giver in this relationship?" Good, I'm not alone. I am frequently amused that the friends I talk to most frequently are the ones with whom I have the least in common, while my soul mate friends, well, I talk to them infrequently at best. Some I only text or email occassionally. It hurts sometimes, because I think you miss a lot in life when you can't connect with those who understand you best. And I get so exhausted listening to the problems of my friends who can't listen to my problems, because they just don't get it or just can't make themselves pay attention. I have this great band that I really want to see in a few weeks, but my "best" friend will be in town and while she knows how much I love this band, she just doesn't seem to want to go. My one friend who would undoubtedly like to go, doesn't live here, and she flakes on me sometimes, too. Don't get the impression that I need to dump these friends, they are often my lifeline, but damn!

So I am an amateur everything: photographer, writer, beer and wine connoiseur, political pundit. Who knows, I may be expert caliber but I've never bothered testing it. I am an amateur underacheiver. This is a picture from the pier at my grandparent's house. The last few years, I've gotten up really early when we're there for Christmas and taken some pictures of the same views. I guess one day I'll be able to see if the scenery ever changes. Regardless, I love it, and since my grandparents keep talking about selling the house, I guess I should enjoy it while I can.